[fail private entry] 003

[cryingontheinside]

[ spoilers guys 5.09 ]

I've been going about this all wrong. Human connection wasn't something I was meant to flee, it was something I should have embraced.


It isn't so bad, having someone see behind the mask.

Comments

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

You know, self-hatred is really destructive. Of course you should have human connections. That's the best part of life.

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

I don't hate myself. [ far from it ]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

I'm glad! It often seems like you really don't like being what you are.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

Oh.. I like what I am. But most people get to decide who they are. I'm.. just doing a bit of retroactive soul-searching.

Re: [locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

I don't think most people get to decide who they are, really. Family can make a huge difference in your choices, like forcing your social status and education, and a lot of people have to pick certain jobs because that's what their father did. And no one gets to pick their family. And everyone has different skills, different personalities. I think most people are limited at least a little.

In some ways, we're the free-est of all.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

You're definitely right about that.

And I feel free-er than ever.

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

Of course I am!

I'm glad to hear it. Soul searching is all well and good, so long as you're still happy to be yourself.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

Modest as ever.

..Is this where we burst into song?

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

I don't think we have to go that far.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

Good, because I can't really hold a tune.

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

I'm not much of a singer myself.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

No spontaneous song then, it's settled.

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

Unless we're drunk, or think of something really appropriate.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

I'm not really the drinking type. ..What could possibly be appropriate?

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

I'm not really into it, either, though an aged scotch or wine with dinner is very nice. ...And I have no idea.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

I'm okay with beer or wine. I leave the hard liquor to my sister. [ read: such a lightweight ]

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

Well, my family smuggles a lot of liquor, so it's pretty much a tradition to drink it.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

My dad only ever drank scotch if something really bad happened.

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

Oh, well that's not the only time you're allowed to.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

..I know. But I prefer being in control.

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

I can understand that, I guess. I don't drink very much, myself. Not much at a time, I mean.

Re: [locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'll have a beer or two to wind down... usually nothing more. Though the guys I work with are always trying to drag me to the bar.

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

And you don't go? You're so strict.

[locked]

[creepyshitking.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I do. It's not exactly easy to get away with an infant at home.

[locked]

[immortal-vino.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess that makes sense. Babies take a lot of work, I imagine.